求一篇英语笑话，两人的，求能撑过三分钟，两个男的，要搞笑

I Wasn't Asleep

When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.

"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

我没有睡着

当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！”

“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。

“没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？”

“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”

The poor hu**and

"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

可怜的丈夫

“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”Where is the father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

父亲在哪儿？

兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”

“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”

哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”

Does the dog know the proverb, too?

The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

狗也知道这个谚语吗？

一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”

一 Can we have our teacher back？

Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a **alll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back?"

能让我们的老师回去吗？

有一次，一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹，因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人，把他带进另一间教室，并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后，一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来，问道，“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢？”

二 Who's More Polite?

A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.

谁更有礼貌？

一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。

三 Expensive Price

Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.

Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

昂贵的代价

牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。

母亲：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀？

牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了

提问者评价

谢谢！

评论(29)|1961

え宫あかね |四级采纳率15%

擅长：动漫小说幽默滑稽恋爱历史话题

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其他5条回答

2009-12-26 09:14wang757649046|四级

A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,

Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."

The busis very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.

"Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.

"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.

"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.

公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.

"喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道.

"车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说.

"但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor **iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

评论(4)|27

2009-12-25 20:02V々略|五级

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says

"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!

四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"

呵呵,一个比一个效率高.

Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!

拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!!"

My Baby Swallowed a Bullet

Young Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ?

Doctor: "Don't point him at anybody."

Notes

1. to swallow a bullet: 吞下一颗子弹

2. to point at: 对...瞄准

allybaby

Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"

两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助**。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在**里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”

课前三分钟幽默笑话

课前三分钟幽默笑话

课前三分钟幽默笑话，课前三分钟是很重要的，可以通过一些方法集中学生注意力,培养学生的兴趣,让学生感受到上课的乐趣，从而喜欢上上课，以下课前三分钟幽默笑话。

课前三分钟幽默笑话1

1、从前，美国人到俄国观光。有一天在俄国的道路上看到二个俄国工人，一个拿把铲子，正在道路旁挖洞，而且每三公尺就挖一个洞，另一个工人却跟着把前一个工人刚挖好的洞马上回填起来，如此反复不停的持续着....

美国人觉得好奇，便问第一位俄国工人：『为什么你一挖好洞，后面那位仁兄就把洞给填起来咧？』

俄国工人回答说：『我们是在绿化道路，我挖洞、第二个人种树、第三个人填土。不过第二个人今天请假没来。』

2、有一人独自在森林中冒险，突然发现自己被食人族重重包围。于是对天空大喊：“我死定了，上帝救救我！”

只见天空出现一到光传来一个声音：“还不一定，你再捡起地上一颗大石头，把带头的酋长砸死。”于是他捡起地上最大的一颗石头，狠狠的砸向酋长，正好把酋长砸死。族人全都呆了一呆，接着怒目相向，这时天上又传来一阵声音：“现在你才真的死定了。”

3、就是这个味道

从前有位老公公，他很喜欢喝他太太给他煮的汤，他只要一天不喝就全身不舒服。后来他太太死了，他喝不到那样的汤了，就很伤心，于是开始叫他媳妇煮。

可是不论他媳妇煮得再好，他总是把它丢在一旁说：＂不是这个味道，这么难喝的汤你也煮的出来啊！＂刚开始媳妇总是忍声吞气，但日子一天一天地过去了，她依然煮不出来。终于她起了杀机，要杀了她公公。可是她不知道要怎样下手，她想啊想的，突然她在角落发现了一罐已生锈不堪的杀虫剂。

她把杀虫剂喷到汤里，然后鼓起勇气拿给她公公喝，只见她公公大叫说：“就是这个味道！就是这个味道！”

4、校订票处：现在车票极为紧张，你要的那班火车票如果没有，你服从调剂吗？

我：服从。

第二天拿到票后我怒了：我订的是到山东的票，为什么给我到山西的！！！

校订票处：你不是说服从调剂吗？

课前三分钟幽默笑话2

课前三分钟笑话(一)

贾聪明有五个孩子。在一年春节，夫妻一起喝酒，其乐融融，两人不知不觉飘然欲仙。

贾聪明说：“老大有点不象我。”

其妻用手指轻轻点他的额头说：“你真蠢还是假蠢呀，这点都看不出来，我现在老实告诉你，就是老大是你的，其他都是人家的。”

贾聪明忙问：“谁的?”

“邻居阿帅的”其妻回答说。

“他是美男子怎么会跟你睡觉?”贾聪明似信非信。

“睡一晚，我给他200块钱。”其妻释疑。

“你给的钱从哪里来?”贾聪明刨根问底。

“都是从你存折里取出来的。”其妻实话实说。

贾聪明很坦然地说：“这样说来，也算是我的孩子。”

课前三分钟笑话(二)

有一天下午，王大娘去菜市场买菜，路过街边一个香瓜摊儿，一阵瓜香飘进王大娘的鼻孔。王大娘停下脚步，看那香瓜个个有小碗大小，面皮白净，身材匀称，品相很好。于是便问卖瓜师傅：“这瓜怎么卖?”卖瓜师傅手一挥说：“论个卖，3元钱一个，随便您挑。”

王大娘埋头在那里仔细地挑瓜。这时，一个背着书包的小男孩突然从她身后冒出来，嘴巴甜甜地对她说：“奶奶，这瓜好香啊，你多买几个吧。”小男孩懂事、乖巧、伶俐，王大娘满心欢喜，禁不住眉开眼笑地点了点头，说：“好，就听你的`，多买几个。”小男孩儿说完话，顺手大大方方地在瓜摊儿上拿起了一个香瓜，用衣襟抹了抹，便大口地吃起来，一边吃着一边蹦跳着走开了。

王大娘挑好了10个香瓜装进了塑料袋，然后递给卖瓜师傅一张50元面值的纸币。卖瓜师傅低头在肚子前的钱袋里翻找了半天，才摸出1张10元的纸币和几张零钞找给她。王大娘心里纳闷卖瓜师傅怎么不直接找她2张10元的整钞，低头一数，少找了3元。王大娘说：“师傅，你找错钱了，少找我3元。”卖瓜师傅说：“没找错。11个香瓜33元，收你50元，找你17元。这点账我还算得过来。”王大娘紧接着说：“错了，错了。我买的是10个，不是11个。”王大娘说着还把塑料袋口敞开让他看。卖瓜师傅看也不看说：“错不了，你孙子不还吃了一个吗?”

王大娘瞪大眼睛，惊诧地说：“我孙子?我只有一个孙女，哪来的孙子?那个小男孩不是我孙子，我根本就不认识他，我还以为他是你孙子在帮你卖瓜呢!”

课前三分钟幽默笑话3

课前三分钟幽默小故事

1、宽容

一只小猪、一只绵羊和一头乳牛，被关在同一个畜栏里。有一次，牧人捉住小猪，它大声号叫，猛烈地抗拒。绵羊和乳牛讨厌它的号叫，便说：他常常捉我们，我们并不大呼小叫。小猪听了回答道：捉你们和捉我完全是两回事，他捉你们，只是要你们的毛和乳汁，但是捉住我，却是要我的命呢！

立场不同、所处环境不同的人，很难了解对方的感受；因此对别人的失意、挫折、伤痛，不宜幸灾乐祸，而应要有关怀、了解的心情。要有宽容的心！

2、靠自己

小蜗牛问妈妈：为什么我们从生下来，就要背负这个又硬又重的壳呢？

妈妈：因为我们的身体没有骨骼的支撑，只能爬，又爬不快。所以要这个壳的保护！

小蜗牛：毛虫姊姊没有骨头，也爬不快，为什么她却不用背这个又硬又重的壳呢？

妈妈：因为毛虫姊姊能变成蝴蝶，天空会保护她啊。

小蜗牛：可是蚯蚓弟弟也没骨头爬不快，也不会变成蝴蝶他什么不背这个又硬又重的壳呢？

妈妈：因为蚯蚓弟弟会钻土, 大地会保护他啊。

小蜗牛哭了起来：我们好可怜，天空不保护，大地也不保护。

蜗牛妈妈安慰他：所以我们有壳啊！

我们不靠天，也不靠地，我们靠自己。

3、鲨鱼与鱼

曾有人做过实验，将一只最凶猛的鲨鱼和一群热带鱼放在同一个池子，然后用强化玻璃隔开，最初，鲨鱼每天不断冲撞那块看不到的玻璃，耐何这只是徒劳，它始终不能过到对面去，而实验人员每天都有放一些鲫鱼在池子里，所以鲨鱼也没缺少猎物，只是它仍想到对面去，想尝试那美丽的滋味，每天仍是不断的冲撞那块玻璃，它试了每个角落，每次都是用尽全力，但每次也总是弄的伤痕累累，有好几次都浑身破裂出血，持续了好一些日子，每当玻璃一出现裂痕，实验人员马上加上一块更厚的玻璃。

后来，鲨鱼不再冲撞那块玻璃了，对那些斑斓的热带鱼也不再在意，好像他们只是墙上会动的壁画，它开始等着每天固定会出现的鲫鱼，然后用他敏捷的本能进行狩猎，好像回到海中不可一世的凶狠霸气，但这一切只不过是假像罢了，实验到了最后的阶段，实验人员将玻璃取走，但鲨鱼却没有反应，每天仍是在固定的区域游着它不但对那些热带鱼视若无睹，甚至于当那些鲫鱼逃到那边去，他就立刻放弃追逐，说什么也不愿再过去，实验结束了，实验人员讥笑它是海里最懦弱的鱼。

可是失恋过的人都知道为什么，它怕痛。

英文课前演讲。三分钟左右，哲理故事或者笑话都可以

Who's More Polite?

A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.

谁更有礼貌？

一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。

我要一个简短的英文笑话，高一的 能在课堂上表演就好。。。两三分钟的。。。。谁能帮帮我

A man was walking on the beach one day and he found a bottle half buried in the sand. He decided to open it. Inside was a genie. The genie said," I will grant you three wishes and three wishes only." The man thought about his first wish and decided, "I think I want 1 million dollars transferred to a Swiss bank account. POOF! Next he wished for a Ferrari red in color. POOF! There was the car sitting in front of him. He asked for his final wish, " I wish I was irresistible to women." POOF! He turned into a box of chocolates.

有一天，一个男人在沙滩上散步，发现了一个半掩在沙子中的瓶子。他决定打开它。里面住着一个精灵。精灵说，“我允许你许三个愿望，只有三个愿望哦。”男人想了想他的第一个愿望，然后决定说，“我想要将一百万元钱汇到我的瑞士**账户上。”“嘣！”于是男人又许愿要一辆红色的法拉利。“嘣！”一辆车出现在了他的眼前。他开始许他最后一个愿望：“我想要所有的女人对我无法抗拒。”“嘣！”他变成了一盒巧克力。

谁有英语童话小故事 带翻译的 时间不超过三分钟的提供一个 ，谢谢了！

谁有英语童话小故事 带翻译的 时间不超过三分钟的提供一个 ，谢谢了！

A poor pig

Danny is a little pig . He is unhappy because he wants to leave home to see the world .

It’s a sunny day . Danny goes away when his parents are sleeping . on his way he meets an elephant , a peacock and a rabbit . At last , he gets to a lake . He looks at his reflection in the water and says, “I wish I have an elephant’s nose , a peacock’s tail and a rabbit’s ears .” after a while , Danny’s wish es true . He runs back excitedly .

But his parents can’t recognize Danny , “Go away , you’re not our son .” Danny goes to the lake again . “ I just want to be a pig .” He says sadly .Danny waits and waits . He bees a pig again .

Danny runs back quickly . His parents hug and say , “ This is our lovely baby .”

可怜的小猪

丹尼是只小猪，为此他很不开心，他希望自己能够拥有大象的鼻子、孔雀的尾巴、小兔的耳朵。可是，当他的愿望实现的时候，爸爸妈妈却不认他了。可怜的小猪决定，还是变回自己原来的样子吧。

英语小故事，不超过2分钟的或2分钟以上的，急用，谢谢

A Fox once saw a Crow fly off with a piece of cheese in its beak and settle on a branch of a tree.

"That's for me, as I am a Fox," said Master Reynard, and he walked up to the foot of the tree.

"Good day, Mistress Crow," he cried. "How well you are looking today: how glossy your feathers; how bright your eye. I feel sure your voice must surpass that of other birds, just as your figure does; let me hear but one song from you that I may greet you as the Queen of Birds."

The Crow lifted up her head and began to caw her best, but the moment she opened her mouth the piece of cheese fell to the ground, only to be snapped up by Master Fox.

"That will do," said he. "That was all I wanted. In exchange for your cheese I will give you a piece of advice for the future: "Do not trust flatterers."

讲一个笑话用英语，不超过三分钟哦

公司有一个员工叫 York

后来又来了一个同事 也叫york

一天开会介绍的时候 经理说 this is new york

谁能提供一个不超过3分钟,初中的一个英语小话剧

不知道你们初几的?有没学过去时和完成时,不过...5个人才3分钟实在是有点困难...(这是我自己写的!!!)

tom:Hey, john! the bell's ringing! Why don't you go into the classroom?

john:i don't have any textbook!

tom:what?

john:i lent my textbook to mary yesterday, and she hasn't returned to me yet!

tom:oh!that's too bad. Today Mr Lee is going to exam our homework on the textbook.

mary:hi!john!

john:thank god! you e

mary: what's up?

john:my textbook! you should return my textbook to me!

mary:hoh!......

john: excuse me? eh...my book?

mary:i'm so sorry....i lost it this morning...oh..john..i promise i will buy a new one for you tomorrow morning.

john: but i'm to use it! my lesson is going to begin in 1 minutes!

mary: i'm sorry...i have to go, it's time to class.talk to you later!

john: mary! wait!

tom: hey! Mr Lee's ing! i should go to my seat. May you get a textbook as soon as possible!

Mr Lee:john! go to your seat!

jack(john's deskmate):where's your textbook? mary didn't return to you?

john:don't talk about her....she lost it!

jack:oh..i'm sorry...i can share mine with you

john: but...

Mr Lee:quiet!class begins!

tom: stand up!

Mr Lee: first of all, have you finished your homework on the textbook?

3个人一起说:yes!

Mr Lee:let me see your textbook, turn to page 23

Mr Lee走下来一个个检查,当检查到JOHN的时候

john:i'm sorry i've lost my textbook

Mr Lee:oh.....how careless you are! that's all right. then, e to my office and let me see your homework after you finish it.

john: yes

求一篇英语有意义的短文最好是英语童话的,有汉语意思,不超过三分钟的,谢谢!

I Have His Ear in My Pocket 他的耳朵在我衣兜里

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢？

Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” 好孩子 “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？“她是个卖糖果的。”

Hospitality 好客

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor *** iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied theboy.

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有乳酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片乳酪回到房间，把乳酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把乳酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的乳酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.

Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.

Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"

一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。 母老鼠向着猫叫道："汪，汪，汪"，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。 母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说："现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。"

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won.

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

求一个英语课前5分钟的ppt，带翻译的，谢谢了

关于……？

请问谁有英语小故事，简短，带翻译，谢谢！

小女孩的愿望

On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The *** allest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.

在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。班上最小的女孩说，她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿，那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。

三分钟演讲放飞梦想，提供一个，谢谢了

生命因为有了愿望而丰富，愿望因为有了不断地付诸于行动而精彩。当一块石头有了愿望，谁也阻挡不了他通向城堡的脚步。当一个人有了愿望，他便有了勇往直前的动力。

——题记

有这样的一个故事，一位叫薛瓦勒的乡村邮差，他每天徒步奔走在乡村之间，每天都走过崎岖的山路，而且每次走过都要拾上一些光滑的石头，心里默念着要用这美丽的石头建造一座属于自己的城堡。他坚持不懈著，日复一日，年复一年，乡村里的人们都觉得这是不可能的事。但最后，矗立在眼前的城堡见证了这样一个不可思议的梦。没错，当一块石头有了愿望，谁也阻挡不了它通向城堡的脚步。

人跟石头也一样，只要有了愿望，就有了通往城堡的动力，有了坚持不懈的信念。

我经常问身边的朋友，问问他们脑海里生长著一个怎样的梦想。但他们展现给我的往往是一张懵懂的样子然后告诉我，我也在寻找中或者说脑海一片空白……这时我便陷入无奈和黑暗之中。在年轻的年轮里，我们到底需不需要梦想？

有人认为，活在年轻的岁月里，我们并不是太需要梦想，因为我们都不太读懂外面的世界，有很多事情都跟我们的心里想的不太一样，我们心里有的不过也是一些不切实际和单纯的梦罢了，又或者，是泡影似的梦，不过几天，又改变一个，这样的梦想虽然美好，但对我们其实并不重要。

年轻的梦真的不太需要吗？年轻的梦虽然不能为将来作出保证，但它能充实我们年轻的头脑，也为我们的成长历程贡献点点滴滴的经验和给予前进的动力，甚至我们也为它曾经骄傲过，努力过，付出过。看着一个又一个的梦想在我们生命的历程里慢慢膨胀到瞬间破裂，其实也是一种考验，一种选择，一种享受青春的机会，一种成长。

我们活在当下，活在青春里，我们便需要梦想的陪伴，需要梦想带来的动力。童年因为有了梦想，我学会了放风筝，学会了溜冰，学会了书法，学会了游泳……青年因为有了梦想，我学会了阅读，学会了观察，学会了探究，学会了交际……这都是因为有了梦想让我们更接近生活，更体验生活。

梦想是鱼儿游动的水，是嫩芽成长的养料，是声音传播的介质，是用电器工作的电源，是飞机起飞的奠基石……

梦想需要我们从小开始放飞，需要我们用心去呵护

一篇英语小故事，3到5分钟的，带翻译，谢谢拜托了各位 谢谢

The Country Squire In a *** all pretty village in Notting ham shire there formerly lived a respectable Squire， who excelled all his friends in amusements athletic， and whose manner of living was far from ascetic． A wife he had taken for better or worse， whose temper had proved an intolerant curse；but at length， to his great and unspeakable joy， she died when presenting a fine little boy．Strange fancies men have；—the father designed to watch o’er the dawn of his son's youthful mind，—that，only approached by the masculine gender， no room should be left him for feelings more tender．“Had I ne’er seen a woman，” he often would sigh，“What Squire in the country so happy as I！” The boy was intelligent， active， and bright， and took in his studies unmon delight；no juvenile follies distracted his mind； no visions of bright eyes， or damsels unkind， and those fair demisisterly beings so gay， yclept“pretty cousins， ne’erpopped in his way； till at length this remarkably singular son could number of years that had passed enty one．” Now the father had settled， his promising son should his studies conclude when he reached enty one；and he went，with a heart beating high with emotion， to launch the young man on life's turbulent ocean．As they entered the town，a young maiden tripped by， with a cheek like a rose， and a lightlaughing eye．“O father， what's that？” cried the youth with delight， as this vision of loveliness burst on his sight．“O，that，” cried the cautious and politic Squire， who did not they outh's ardent glances admire，“is only a thing called a Goose，my dear son ；we shall see many more ere our visit is done．” Blooming damsels now passed with their butter and cheese，whose beauty might even an anchorite please：“Merelygeese！” said the Squire，“don't mind them，my dear；thereare many things better worth looking at here．” As onwards they passed， every step brought to view some spectacle equally curious and new；and the joy of the youth hardly knew any bounds， at the roped ancers， tumblers， and merry gorounds． As soon as the tour of the town was pleted， the fatherre solved that the boy should be treated； so， pausing an instant，he said，“My dear son， a new era today in your life has begun；now of all this bright scene and the gayeties in it，choose whatever you like，it is yours from this minute．”“Choose whatever I like？” cried the jouthful recluse．“O， thank you，dear father， then give me—a goose！” 乡绅 从前，在诺丁汉郡的一个美丽的小村庄里住着一位可敬的绅士。他玩起体育竞技游戏来比所有的朋友都高强，过的日子绝不是苦行僧式的。不管是福是祸，他娶了个妻。结果她脾气奇坏，成了个难以忍受的灾星。终于，她在产下一玲珑佳儿后死去，乡绅先生的万分欣喜自是不可言传。人不时会突发奇想。这位父亲决定亲自督察儿子年幼的头脑的启蒙，务必使他接触的都是男性，绝不留下余地萌生更温柔的感情。“倘我从不曾见过女人，”他常常叹息道，“全国的乡绅里谁人能有我快活！”那男孩聪明、活泼而又通达事理，异常地喜欢学习。从不因小孩子的胡闹而分心；从没有明亮的眸子，或狠心的小妞，或被谓之“妩媚表亲”、半似姐妹的放肆尤物突然出现在他面前。到最后，这位非同寻常、出类拔萃的儿子终于度过了21个年头。 父亲决定，他的前途无量的儿子在21岁时应该结束学业。于是他满心激动地带领年轻人启航进入汹涌的人生之海。当他们进城时，正有一少女款款经过，腮如玫瑰，眼笑流波。“哦，父亲，那是什么？”当那可爱身影闯入他的眼帘时，年轻人快乐地喊道。“噢，那个，”谨慎而讲究谋略的乡绅根本不赞赏儿子热烈的目光，于是大声说，“不过区区一笨鹅而已，我亲爱的孩子，我们一路还会见到很多的。” 携奶油乳酪的如花少女络绎而过，就是隐士也会被她们的美丽打动。“不过是些笨鹅！”乡绅道，“我儿不必放在心上，此间有许多事物更值得一观呢。”他们继续前行，每一步都见到同样新奇有趣的景象，年轻人看到走绳索的，翻斤斗的，和旋转木马等等，其乐也无穷。 小城之行一结束，父亲就决定要款待儿子。于是，他停顿片刻后说，“我亲爱的儿子，今日起你的生活开始了一个新的时期。现在，在所有这眩目景象及种种赏心乐事中，选出你最喜爱的，你立刻就能得到它。”“由我任意选择？”年轻的隐居者大叫，“啊，谢谢你了，父亲，那就给我一只笨鹅吧！”

谁有英语小故事，简短，带翻译

笑话可以么？

Akpos is right back from school, tired and hungry. akpos（儿子）从回校回到家，又饿又累。

Mother: Akpos you are back? 妈妈：儿子回来啦？

Akpos: Yes mum.嗯，回来了

Mother: What were you taught in school today?你今天在学校学了什么啊?

Akpos: It's Agriculture学了和农业相关的

Mother: Which ic?学什么主题？

Akpos: Desert.!沙漠

Mother: What is desert?什么是沙漠？

Akpos: A desert is a place where grass never grow沙漠就是寸草不生的地方

Mother: Good boy.. give example?真棒，能给我举个例子吗？

Akpos: Dad's Head. 老爸的头