英语笑话故事，英语小笑话 50个单词
很多朋友对于英语笑话故事和英语小笑话 50个单词不太懂，今天就由小编来为大家分享，希望可以帮助到大家，下面一起来看看吧！
英语小笑话带翻译100个
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？
Q: What do people do in a clock factory?
A: They make faces all day.
一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。
英语笑话（二）
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
--我叔叔下面有1000个人。
--他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
--墓地守墓人。
英语笑话（三）
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering."Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市**存女儿送给她的美元。在**柜台，**职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
--服务员，
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
--对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
--哦，那给我那个打赢的吧。
英语笑话（六）The mean man's party.
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said,"Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply,"You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
英语笑话（七）Advice for"Kid"
A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."
忠告“年轻者”
这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，
千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”
英语笑话（八）Which woman?
One evening I drove my hu**and's car to the shopping mall.
On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."
My hu**and looked up and said,"Mom's here?"
哪一位女人？
一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”
我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？”
英语笑话（九）The doctor lives downstairs
"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room,"I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot."Madam," he said at length,"I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
医生住在楼下
“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。
“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”
他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”
英语笑话（十）One Engine Left
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker,"Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult."
Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again,"Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."
At this point, one passenger became furious."For Pete's sake," he shouted,"If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"
只剩一个引擎
一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时。”过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。”正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”
回答者：lovemydream-高级经理七级 7-5 10:08
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评论者： YABNV-魔法学徒一级
其他回答共 2条
Logic Reasoning逻辑推理
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
"Here is the situation," she said."a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin
g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked,"to draw out all of his savings?"
逻辑推理
小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么？”一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？”
[注]bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“**”之外，还有“河岸”的意思。
Have You Ceased Beating Your Wife？你停止打你老婆了吗?
This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent‘s witnesses．
One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations．
“I want‘yes’or‘no，’”thundered counsel．“There is no need for you to argue the point！”
“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no，’”mildly responded the witness．
“There are not！” snapped the lawyer．
“Oh，” said the witness，“answer this then：“Have you ceased beating your wife？”
这个故事讲的是一个咄咄逼人的辩护律师，他惯于尽量去恐吓对方的证人。
有一个证人有点倾向于在回答问题之前做冗长的解释。
“我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’，”辩护律师怒喝道：“你没有必要就这个问题进行争论。”
“可是有些问题无法用‘是’或者‘不是’来回答。”这位证人温和地回敬他。
“不存在这样的问题！”律师厉声打断他。
“噢，”证人说：“那么请你回答这个问题：“你停止打你老婆了吗？”
Two Birds
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？"老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。"小女孩回答道。
昨天夜里我爸妈表演“混合双打”
Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles，boys？
体育老师：孩子们，你们见过男女混合双打吗？
Nick: Yes，sir. Quite of ten. I saw it even last night.
尼克：见过，老师，经常见。就在昨天夜里我还见过呢！
Teacher: Please tell us some thing about it.
老师：那你给大家讲讲当时的情形吧。
Nick: Oh，sorry，sir. My father always says,"Domestic shame should not be published.”
尼克：啊，对不起，老师。我爸爸常说:“家丑不可外扬。”(
抄的..
英语幽默故事
英文幽默故事
Marriage Proposal to Bernard Shaw
Once a beautiful and dissolute British actress wrote to propose marriage to Bernard Shaw． She said she did not mindBernard Shaw's old age and ugliness because he was a genius． And if they could bine the beauty of the woman with the talents of the great man，that would be greatly harmonious．“With your wisdom and my appearance，our children must be perfect．”
Bernard Shaw answered，in a letter，that her imagination wassplendid，“But，what if the children take my appearance and yourwisdom？”
向肖伯纳求婚
英国有位美貌风流的女演员，曾写信向肖伯纳求婚。她说，因为他是个天才，她不嫌肖伯纳年迈丑陋。假如能使女郎的美貌和超人的天才结合，那该是多么协调啊。“咱们的后代有你的智慧和我的美貌，那一定是十全十美了。”
肖伯纳给她回了一封信说，她的想象很是美妙，“可是，假如生下的孩子外貌象我，而智慧又象你，那又该怎么办呢？”
英语幽默故事
Peter
dozed
off
while
his
teacher
was
talking.
老师正在讲课，彼得打起瞌睡来了。
Teacher:
Peter！Tell
us,
what's
the
biggest
in
the
world?
老师：彼得！你说说，世界上什么最大？
Peter:
Well,
well....eyelids....
彼得:
嗯……嗯……眼皮……
Teacher:
What？Eyelids？
老师：什么？眼皮？
Peter:
Yes,
sir.
Because
as
soon
as
I
shut
my
eyes,
the
eyelids
cover
everything
of
the
world.
彼得：是的，老师。因为我眼睛一闭，眼皮就把世界上所有的东西都遮住了
Late
one
night
at
the
insane
asylum
(疯人院）one
inmate
shouted,
"I
am
Napoleon!"
Another
one
said,
"How
do
you
know?"
The
first
inmate
said,
"God
told
me!"
Just
then,
a
voice
from
another
room
shouted,
"I
did
not!"
疯人院
一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说："我是拿破仑！"另一个说："你怎么知道？"第一个人说："上帝对我说的！"一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来："我没说！"
英语幽默小故事50字左右（带翻译）
Q: Why won’t the elephant use the puter?
为什么大象不玩电脑？
A: He’s afraid of the mouse!
他害怕老鼠！
鼠标和老鼠的英文皆为mouse。
mouse [maʊs]n.鼠标；老鼠；胆小羞怯的人
2.A much worried patiant walked into the doctor's office and asked for help。
"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday."
"Oh, don't worry! All you have to remember is not to*** oke in the next few days." The doctor said.
一位很焦急的病人走到医生办公室寻求帮助。
“医生，我不知道该怎么办。昨天我不小心喝下了一瓶汽油。”
“哦，不用担心。你一定要牢记未来几天不要吸烟就行了。”医生说。
3.A man was hit by a cab in the street.
He was brought to the hospital.
His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor:"I think that he is very ill."
"I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said:"I'm not dead. I'm still alive."
"Be quiet,"said the wife."the doctor knows better than you!"
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.
他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."
医生说:"我怕他已经死了."
听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."
妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."
4.A man goes to church and starts talking to God.
He says:"God, what is a million dollars to you?"
And God says:"A penny".
Then the man says:"God, what is a million years to you?"
And God says:"a second",
Then the man says:"God, can I have a penny?"
And God says"In a second".
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.
他问:"主啊,一百万美元对你意味着多少?"
上帝回答:"一便士."
男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"
上帝说:"一秒钟."
最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"
上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
5.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?
Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
6.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,"What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan."I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
关于英语的幽默故事
Three Surgeons三个有名的外科医生
Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills."A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one."Today that man is a concert violinist.""That's nothing," said another."A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner."
"I can top both of you," said the third."One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse's posterior- and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate."
三个有名的外科医生正在吹嘘他们的技术。“一个人断了一只手，他来找我，”一个说，“如今那个人是个音乐会的小提琴手。”
“这算不了什么，”另一个说。“一个家伙两条腿断了，他来找我，我将它们接了回去。如今，那人是马拉松选手。”
“我比你们两个都强，”第三个说，“一天，我碰到一起可怕的车祸。除了一个马***，和一幅眼睛，什么都没有留下。如今，那人坐在美国参议院里。”
一天3个人比赛射击。A，50步射中某人头上的苹果说：I am A。B，100步射中说：I am B。C，150步，开枪后说：I am sorry.
英语幽默故事带翻译
The Old Cat
An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.
Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said,"Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."
【译文】
老猫
一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。
于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”
A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said,"I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the apples and threw them away into the st.
He went on and came to a river. The river had bee very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said,"I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river."
He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the st and eat them.
Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time.
【译文】
一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去，当他沿着路走时，在路的一边他发现一箱好苹果，他说：“我不打算吃那些苹果，因为富人会给我更多的食物，他会给我很好吃的东西。”然后他拿起苹果，一把扔到土里去。
他继续走，来到河边，河涨水了，因此，他到不了河对岸，他等了一会儿，然后他说：“今天我去不了富人家了，因为我不能渡过河。”
他开始回家，那天他没有吃东西。他就开始去找吃的，他找到苹果，很高兴地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了。
不要把好东西扔掉，换个时候你会觉得它们大有用处。
The City Mouse and the Country Mouse
Once there were o mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said,"Do e and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went. The City mouse said,"This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should e and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would have nice food to eat. You must e and see me at my house in the city."
The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried," Run! Run! The cat is ing!" They ran away quickly and hid.
After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said,"I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid."
【译文】
城里老鼠和乡下老鼠
从前，有两只老鼠，它们是好朋友。一只老鼠居住在乡村，另一只住在城里。很多年以后，乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠，它说：“你一定要来我乡下的家看看。”于是，城里老鼠就去了。乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里。它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠。城里老鼠说：“这东西不好吃，你的家也不好，你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢？你应该搬到城里去住，你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子，还会吃上美味佳肴，你应该到我城里的家看看。”
乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮，好吃的东西也为他们摆好了。可是正当他们要开始吃的时候，听见很大的一阵响声，城里的老鼠叫喊起来：“快跑！快跑！猫来了！”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来。
过了一会儿，他们出来了。当他们出来时，乡下老鼠说：“我不喜欢住在城里，我喜欢住在田野我的洞里。因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在，比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说，要好些。”
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I e to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着"学校----慢行".
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for o cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked,"What's the meaning of the word'Drunk', dad?""Well, my son," his father replied,"look, there are standing o policemen. If I regard the o policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said," there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？”“唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。”“可是，爸爸，”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
英语小故事笑话
英语笑话（一）
Q:
What's
the
difference
beeen
a
monkey
and
a
flea?
A:
A
monkey
can
have
fleas,
but
a
flea
can't
have
monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
Q:
How
can
you
most
irritate
a
farmer?
A:
By
treading
on
his
corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
Q:
Which
is
the
strongest
creature
in
the
world?
A:
The
snail.
It
carries
its
house
on
its
back.
因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？
Q:
What
do
people
do
in
a
clock
factory?
A:
They
make
faces
all
day.
一看到make
faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。
Q:
How
do
you
stop
a
sleepwalker
from
walking
in
his
sleep?
A:
Keep
him
awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk
in
his
sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。
英语小笑话 50个单词
英语小笑话 50个单词
Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?
Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I fot to shake the bottle.
妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的？
汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇动瓶子了
look：（我收集的10个英文笑话带中文翻译）
1.A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement munity. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'
这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，千万别进退休社群。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”
英语小笑话每句9个单词Q: What does a nosey pepper do?
A: Gets jalapeno business!
Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An Impasta
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!
Q:"What's the difference beeen a guitar and a fish?"
A:"You can't tuna fish."
Father to son after exam:"Let me see your report card."
Son:"My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
英语小笑话(初二)80个单词要翻译He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,"What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan."I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for o cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked,"What's the meaning of the word'Drunk', dad?""Well, my son," his father replied,"look, there are standing o policemen. If I regard the o policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said," there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？”“唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。”“可是，爸爸，”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor*** iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said:"You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?""In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有乳酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片乳酪回到房间，把乳酪放在客人的盘子里。客人微笑着把乳酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的乳酪？”“在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
英语小笑话(10-30个单词)七年级The Dog And The Shadow狗和它的影子
A DOG,crossing a bridge over a stream with a piece of flesh in his mouth,saw his own shadow in the water,and took it for that of another Dog,with a piece of meat double his own in size.He therefore let go his own,and fiercely attacked the other Dog,to get his larger piece from him.He thus lost both:that which he grasped at in the water,because it was a shadow; and his own,because the stream swept it away.
一条狗嘴里叼块肉,来到一座桥上.它看见水里有自己的影子,以为是另一条嘴里也叼著一块比自己那块肉大一倍的狗.它忙丢下自己嘴里的那块肉,猛力地攻击水里的狗.试图去抢它的肉.结果,它两块肉都得不到.因为那只是一个影子,它自己的影子而已.真正的肉也被水冲走了.
Which do you find more important,money or friends?
B:Friends,of course.
A:Why?
B:I can always borrow money from friends.
钱和朋友
甲：你认为钱和朋友哪一个更重要?
乙：当然是朋友.
甲：为什么?
乙：我总可以从朋友那儿借到钱
英语小笑话只要七个单词带翻译A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her hu*** and, I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means
You'll know tonight. he said.
That evening, the man came home with a*** all package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled The meaning of dreams.
一名年轻女子正在午睡。当她醒来时，她告诉她的丈夫，我刚才梦见你给我一个情人节的珍珠项链。你觉得它是什么意思？
今晚你就会知道,他说。
那天晚上，该男子带着一个小包回家来，然后将它交给了他的妻子。她高兴地打开了它-却只发现是一本题为梦的书。
补充：
sentences的意思：句子，警句，定律。要根据上下文而定，你可以查词典解决。
英语小笑话50子Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her.
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair."
Notes:
(1) inform v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝；巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v.相似；类似
18.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied-"Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue!"
Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。句中 Cause是 Because的缩略形式。
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal- As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the*** ooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her posure, she winked at me and said,"Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？”
英语笑话故事
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,"What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan."I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for o cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked,"What's the meaning of the word'Drunk', dad?""Well, my son," his father replied,"look, there are standing o policemen. If I regard the o policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said," there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？”“唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。”“可是，爸爸，”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor*** iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said:"You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?""In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有乳酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片乳酪回到房间，把乳酪放在客人的盘子里。客人微笑着把乳酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的乳酪？”“在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
英语小笑话
上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas的衣服去打球,一个老美看到就笑我说,"Do you
know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想着
性,缩写正好是 Adidas)"我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快,联想力这么丰富时,旁边的
一个老美帮我解围,他说,有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn,他们的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S,(All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能详的喔!下次就换你去取笑老美了.
英语小笑话40词内英语笑话故事
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,"What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan."I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for o cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked,"What's the meaning of the word'Drunk', dad?""Well, my son," his father replied,"look, there are standing o policemen. If I regard the o policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said," there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？”“唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。”“可是，爸爸，”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor*** iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said:"You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?""In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有乳酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片乳酪回到房间，把乳酪放在客人的盘子里。客人微笑着把乳酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的乳酪？”“在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
英语小笑话
上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas的衣服去打球,一个老美看到就笑我说,"Do you
know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想着
性,缩写正好是 Adidas)"我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快,联想力这么丰富时,旁边的
一个老美帮我解围,他说,有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn,他们的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S,(All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能详的喔!下次就换你去取笑老美了.
一个英语小笑话，要求超过一百个单词my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
Two Birds
Teacher: Here are o birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
求一个初二英语小笑话大约50个单词简学易懂急需1.Two Birds
Teacher: Here are o birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
2.The New Teacher
Gee es from school on the first of September.
"Gee, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said
that o and four were six too....."
新老师
9月1日，乔治放学回到家里。
"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？"妈妈问。
"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6,可后来又说2加4也得6。"
望采纳
求一个大约50、60个英语单词的英文小笑话，带翻译。~~~~(>_<)~~~~A*** iling boy arrived home from a dental visit,"Hey mom,the dentist says I have no cavities."
His mom stared at him wide-eyed and quite surprised,"It's impossible--you never brush your teeth after cleaning the chocolate box before you go to bed!
Then the boy opened his mouth--he had not a tooth left!
英文笑话：我没有蛀牙/No Cavities
小男孩儿看完牙医，面带微笑地回到家：“嘿，妈妈，牙医说，我一颗蛀牙也没有。”
妈妈惊讶地瞪大眼睛：“不可能——你每回上床睡觉前都把巧克力盒子里的糖一下子吃完，而且从来不刷牙！”
这时，男孩儿张开了嘴巴——他的牙全被拔光了。？
文章分享结束，英语笑话故事和英语小笑话 50个单词的答案你都知道了吗？欢迎再次光临本站哦！
