英语幽默故事200字

A clerk who had to work overtime every day used to get back to his room very late at night and sometimes in the early hours of the morning. He was so tired when he got back that he would sit down on the edge of the bed, take off his shoes, and throw them on the floor. He would then get into bed and fall fast asleep.

But the lodger who had the room under the clerk's was woken up each night by the two thuds that the two shoes made as they landed on the ceiling. Finally, he could stand it no longer and complained to the clerk.

The clerk promised that in future after taking off his shoes, he would put them down as quietly as possible on the floor.

The next day, he got back from his office at about one o'clock in the morning.As usual, he took off one shoe and threw it on the floor. He was about to do the same with the other shoe when he suddenly remembered the promise he had made. So with great care he put the second shoe silently on the floor.Then he got into bed and fell fast asleep.An hour later,he was woken up by a violent knocking on his door. It was the lodger who lived in the roomjust under his.

"Please, please drop the other shoe. " The lodger pleased."I've been waiting for a whole hour for u to drop it. As soon as u do so, I can go to sleep."

下面的网址还有很多，任君选择

英语简短幽默的小故事有哪些？

Talkingclock\x0d\x0a会说话的钟\x0d\x0aWhileproudlyshowingoffhisnewapartmenttofriends,acollegestudentledthewayintotheden."Whatisthebigbrassgongandhammerfor?"oneofhisfriendsasked."Thatisthetalkingclock,"themanreplied."How'sitwork?"\x0d\x0a\x0d\x0a"Watch,"themansaidandproceededtogivethegonganearshatteringpoundwiththehammer.Suddenly,someonescreamedfromtheothersideofthewall,"Knockitoff,youidiot!It'stwoo'clockinthemorning!"\x0d\x0a一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的？”他的一个朋友问他。“那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟”，学生回答。“这钟怎么工作的”，他的朋友问。“看着，别眨眼了”，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，“别敲了，你这**！现在是凌晨两点钟了！”\x0d\x0a\x0d\x0a这是第一篇~\x0d\x0aAmangoestochurchandstartstalkingtoGod.Hesays:"God,whatisamilliondollarstoyou?"andGodsays:"Apenny",thenthemansays:"God,whatisamillionyearstoyou?"andGodsays:"asecond",thenthemansays:"God,canIhaveapenny?"andGodsays"Inasecond"\x0d\x0a\x0d\x0a一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊,一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."\x0d\x0a\x0d\x0aFourbestfriend**etatthehospitalsincetheirwivesweregivingbirthstotheirbabies.Thenur*****esuptothefirstmanandsays,"Congratulations,yougottwins."Themansaid"Howstrange,I'mthemanagerofMinnesotaTwins."Afterawhilethenur*****esuptothesecondmanandsays,"Congratulations,yougottriplets."Manwaslike"Hmmm,strangeIworkedasadirectorforthe"3musketeers."Finally,thenur*****esuptothethirdmanandsays\x0d\x0a"Congratulations,yougottwinsx2."Manishappyandsays,"Ironic,Iworkforthehotel"4Seasons."Allthreeofthemarehappyuntiltheyseetheirlastbuddyjumpingallovertheplace,cursingGodandbanginghisheadonthewall.Theyaskedhimwhat'swrongandheanswered,"What'swrong?Iworkfor7up"!\x0d\x0a四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"\x0d\x0a呵呵,一个比一个效率高.

英语幽默故事

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

它们是从美国直接带来的

一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市**存女儿送给她的美元。在**柜台，**职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。

这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”

　2.昨天来了个老外，进到办公室，前台小姐左看右看，大家都在打游戏，只有自己比较清闲，面带微笑的：

前台小姐：“Hello.”

老外：“Hi.”

前台小姐：“You have what thing？”

老外：“Can you speak english？”

前台小姐：“If I not speak english, I am speaking what？”

老外：“Can anybody else speak english？”

前台小姐：“You yourself look. All people are playing, no people have time, you can wait, you wait, you not wait, you go！”

老外：“Good heavens. Anybody here can speak English？”

前台小姐：“Shout what shout, quiet a little, you on earth have what thing？”

老外：“I want to speak to your head.”

前台小姐：“Head not zai. You tomorrow come！”