需要一篇不超过3分钟的英语演讲稿，要幽默有趣，中英对照！？

Ladies and Gentlemen, Good morning! I’m very glad to stand here and give you a short speech. Man’s life is a process of growing up, actually I’m standing here is a growth. If a person’s life must constituted by various choices, then I grow up along with these choices. Once I hope I can study in a college in future, however that’s passed, as you know I come here, now I wonder what the future holds for me. When I come to this school, I told to myself: this my near future, all starts here. Following I will learn to become a man, a integrated man, who has a fine body, can take on important task, has independent thought, an open mind, intensive thought, has the ability to judge right and wrong, has a perfect job. Once my teacher said :” you are not sewing, you are stylist; never forget which you should lay out to people is your thought, not craft.” I will put my personality with my interest and ability into my study, during these process I will combine learning with doing. If I can achieve this “future”, I think that I really grow up. And I deeply believe kindred, good-fellowship and love will perfection and happy in the future. How to say future? Maybe it’s a nice wish. Lets make up our minds, stick to it and surely well enjoy our life. 中文大意: 女士们，先生们，上午好。我很高兴在这里为大家作一个简短的讲话。 人的一生是一个成长的过程，事实上，我现在站在这里也是一次成长。如果一个人的一生必须面临不同的选择，那么我就是伴随着这些选择成长起来的。曾经我盼望将来能上大学，然而那已经过去了，现在我在这儿，只想知道我的未来会是什么样的。 当我来到这所学校，我告诉我自己：我不久的将来都从这里开始。接着我要学习如何做人，如何做一个正直的人，并且拥有一个健康的体魄，能承担重要的任务，能独立思考，思想开放，心思缜密，有判断是非的能力，有一份不错的工作。 我的老师曾经告诉我说：“你不是在修补而是在创造；永远不要忘记你向人们所展示的是你的思想，而不是你的手艺。”我会将我的性格，兴趣爱好和能力一起融入到学习中去。在这过程中，我边学习边实践。如果我能实现这个“未来”，我就认为我真的成长了。并且我深信我的亲人，好朋友以及爱会使我的未来更完美，更幸福。 如何来解释未来呢? 也许那只是一个美好的愿望。让我们下定决心，坚持到底，那我们的人生一定能过得很精彩。参考资料：

幽默英语演讲稿

下面是我整理的幽默 英语 演讲稿 ，希望对大家有帮助。

幽默英语演讲稿一：Time

The hours of a wise man are lengthened by his ideas as those of a fool are by his passions. The time of the one is long, because he does not know what to do with it; as is that of the other, because he distinguishes every moment of it with useful or amusing thoughts, or in other words, because the one is always wishing it away, and the other always enjoying it.

How different is the view of past life, in the man who is grown old in knowledge and wisdom, from that of him who is grown in ignorance and folly? The latter is like the owner of a barren country, that fills his eye with the [1] prospect of naked hills and plains, which produce nothing either profitable or [2] ornamental; the other [3] beholds a beautiful and spacious landscape, divided into delightful gardens, green meadows, fruitful fields, and can scarce [4] cast his eye upon a single spot of his possessions, that is not covered with some beautiful plant or flower.

幽默英语演讲稿二：

Good morning teachers and fellow students. Today we would like to introduce a few favorite books to you.

My favorite book is (Italian: Cuore). This is a diary written by an Italian boy Enrico. The diary is about his life and study. It included various touching stories that happened around Enrico, the mottos taught by his parents, as well as the wonderful ten "monthly" stories told by his teacher during the class. Every word in the chapter describes the word "love". From patrioti** to friendship, and to the love between parents and child -- really touching.

This novel taught me how to love, and how to learn from love. I really like this book very much. How about you? What is your favorite book?

My favorite book is . Have you read it before?

Oh, I haven’t read this book before. What is it about?

Well, it is a story of a rich girl who maintained her noble character after the bankruptcy of her father. The story is happy ending.

Can you tell us why you love this book so much?

Sure. It is because the story taught us to be brave and to face the challenges and difficulties with courage. I am deeply impressed by the strength and perseverance of the little princess in the story. I have decided to learn from her from now on.

Oh I see, the story sounds very good. I cannot wait to read this book as well.

幽默英语演讲稿三：

Good morning teachers and fellow students. Today we would like to introduce a few favorite books to you.

My favorite book is (Italian: Cuore). This is a diary written by an Italian boy Enrico. The diary is about his life and study. It included various touching stories that happened around Enrico, the mottos taught by his parents, as well as the wonderful ten "monthly" stories told by his teacher during the class. Every word in the chapter describes the word "love". From patrioti** to friendship, and to the love between parents and child -- really touching.

This novel taught me how to love, and how to learn from love. I really like this book very much. How about you? What is your favorite book?

My favorite book is . Have you read it before?

Oh, I haven t read this book before. What is it about?

Well, it is a story of a rich girl who maintained her noble character after the bankruptcy of her father. The story is happy ending.

Can you tell us why you love this book so much?

Sure. It is because the story taught us to be brave and to face the challenges and difficulties with courage. I am deeply impressed by the strength and perseverance of the little princess in the story. I have decided to learn from her from now on.

Oh I see, the story sounds very good. I cannot wait to read this book as well.

幽默英语演讲稿四：

Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town.

"Let’s go to the fair, Matt," his wife said. "We haven’t been anywhere for a long time."

Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, "All right, but I’m not going to spend much money. We’ll look at things, but we won’t buy anything. "

They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt’s wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.

Then, in a nearby field, they saw a **all airplane.

"Fun flights!" the notice said, " $$ 10 for 10 minutes.

Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn’t want to have to pay for his wife, as well.

"I’ve only got $$ 10, " he told the pilot. "Can my wife come with me for free?" The pilot wasn’t selling many tickets, so he said, "I’ll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn’t scream or shout, she can have a free flight."

Matt agreed, and got into the **all airplane with his wife.

The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.

When the plane landed, the pilot said, "0. K. your wife didn’t make a sound. She can have her ride free."

"Thank you," Matt said. "It wasn’t easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out."

幽默又有深度的英语演讲话题

英语演讲幽默开场白

作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法

入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。作为一个讲演者，他的演讲总拿来和林肯的哥得堡演讲[一个著名的演讲]相比较。当他

演讲结束时，也有悲伤、眼泪和悲痛——特别是计划委员会。 幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。 演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来——你泰然自若，优雅地点头

微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡poise is when you

finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy

schedule to be a part of their program --- and you nod and **ile graciously knowing

full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好

象推开了很多事才赶去似的。过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸

体会有所帮助。此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，

但眼睛有些疲劳。

i used to get nervous when giving a speech but then i read that it helps to think

of the entire audience as being naked. and so, at this very moment, i’m standing

up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked. and it really works.

i no suffer from nervousness. eyestrain. yes幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。创新句子：大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张，我属于少部分人，我非常 紧张。

我本人不自负——我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。 personally, i have never been conceited --- and i can’t tell you how much i admire

myself for that.